By
Kenneth Tamara
Okay, I know this is not a topic that most would prefer
we discuss, however after a series of personal emails from folks, and
after praying about it, here I am sharing this.
And this is gonna be a practical expression, not some religious blah
blah blah. We are adults here, so we can discuss adult issues with
integrity.
- HONESTY: The first thing is being
honest with oneself that giving in to masturbation is giving in to
defeat in an area
in one's life. The world has expressed how "normal" and acceptable it
is. The world also claims how normal and acceptable pre-marital sex is,
as well as other clear violations of morality, so as a christian, the
world should not be where we find definition for moral standard. Matt 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart".
I'm sure as anyone who has indulged in masturbation can attest, it is
the lustful fantasy that enhances the process. Subtract the fantasy, and
it becomes a tasking labor requiring too much work. In my effort at
trying to compromise, I wanted to keep masturbation, so I subtracted the
fantasysing, and it worked for a while, but it was so much mental work
trying to keep the mind from straying, knowing fully well that one or
two mental images or visits down memory lane would make the process
magical. And even if one is able to masturbate without mental images,
the act of sexual orgasm outside of marriage depletes the anointing from
manifesting practically in one's life. The power of the gospel at work
in a person's life is relegated to the background, and the christian
claims becomes a nice rhetoric with no anointing backing it up.We have
to be honest with ourselves and admit that sin is sin. As long as we
justify or defend it, then we empower it.
- BELIEVE: We have to dare to believe
that it is possible to live above masturbating. I've heard people joke
that zero release of any form will lead to sexual implosion, or the body
would catch toxic sexual fever. As long as our theology imbibes that
sexual expression is a need, then it would be impossible to live a life
of sexual purity. Gal 5:19 "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery". Impurity is a sin. The state of being defiled is a compromise in our holiness walk. 1
Cor 6:11 "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you
were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ
and by the Spirit of our God". Before Christ, we
lived impure lives, but after our encounter with him, he washed,
sanctified and justified us. Now all we need to do is to begin to see
ourselves in that
state. We have to believe it is possible, regardless if we have a track
record of incessant failures and falls.
- THE WORD: In Ephesians, while
describing our weapon of attack and offense, it calls the word of God
the sword of the Spirit. In Matthew while Jesus was being tempted, we
see that he spoke quotations from Deuteronomy to the devil. Same way,
for us to effectively defeat a manifestation of a fruit of our sinful
nature, we have to be well acquainted with the word.
For me, I had to search out every scripture I could
find that talked about sexual purity. And I spoke them to myself
everyday. And whenever I
felt the thought or stirring to masturbate, I would immediately speak
out loud these scriptures.When Jesus was tempted, he spoke a scripture
addressing that temptation to the enemy. Same way, when we are tempted,
we speak a scripture addressing that temptation to the situation. We
dont silently think it, we speak it out. Jesus said speak to the
mountain. Jesus spoke to the fig tree, and the effect of his words
withered the tree. We have to learn to SPEAK scriptures to situations.
As long as our mouth is shut, the potency of the word is muffled.
- MOURN: One of the major mistakes we
make is we expect that when we give up our favorite sin, we wouldnt
miss it; that God will swoop in and fill the emptiness. Thats a lie! If
we have enjoyed a particular sin for years, the moment we give it up,
our sinful
nature is going to ache for it. It is akin to losing a cherished thing.
We will feel a sense of loss, and it is okay. We have to go thru the
period of mourning. Failure to mourn the loss of our fav sin will result
in a wicked cycle of searching for something to satiate the loss. I used
to be a drug addict, and I did have to attend rehab and secular
therapy. Part of what I learned there was, mourning the loss of using
was a process I had to come to terms with, and embrace. Thats the same
with giving up any sin we were hooked on. There's no short cut to it.
Accept it that it "sucks" from the perspective of the flesh to not have
your fav sin no more. But from the perspective of Christ, it is LIFE!!!
We have to die to self to live in Christ. He who saves his life will
lose it, and he who loses his life for Christs sake will gain it.
- FLEE: 1
Cor 6:18 "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are
outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body".
The instruction here is to FLEEEEE!!!! It doesnt say debate it, argue
with it, or wrestle with it. It says flee. Flee means flee. We all have
our triggers. For some, it is what they watch, others it is what they
read, and to others, it is what they discuss, or who they discuss with.
We gotta shut down whatever our trigger is. For me, my trigger was
always the early hours of the morning (thats a male thing). So I had to
always break the spell of silently sitting in the moment by offering
myself to God as a sacrifice, since I cant run from my body's early
morning reaction. 1 Cor 6:13b "The body
is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for
the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will
raise us also". My body was meant for the Lord, including my sexual organs. And the same
God who raised Christ from the dead can equally raise my body from burning in lust, provided I offer it to him. Rom
12:1 "Therefore, I urge you brothers in view of God's mercy, to offer
your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is
your spiritual act of worship". And this includes offering your sexual organs to God, especially in the heat of the moment, afterall our
very body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
- REPENT: The first thing you learn
in rehab is, relapse is part of your recovery. You cant identify how a
situation makes you vulnerable until you are in a vulnerable situation.
So if you fall, it isnt an excuse to wallow in the fall, and remain in
the mud. Vent and do what you got to, but get up, and renew your mind in
your conviction to live in victory over masturbation. Dont excuse and
defend it. Call it what it is, accept and embrace the forgiveness of
Christ, and reinforce your commitment to rise above masturbation thru
commitment
to and in the word, and continue pressing. But make sure you learn from
the relapse. It would be foolishly self deluding to relapse, and not
analyze the fall, and figure out where you were passive and submissive
in giving in to sin.
Thats all folks. For my super spiritual folks who
might feel this is inappropriate to discuss, my apologies, but I have to
live true to the calling on my life :)
